Note to Self #21:

Elevate yourself: intellectually, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Every day.

FE+ encore

Thanks to my bests I'm going to see my favorite hip-hop duo, Foreign Exchange tonight. Again. (!!!) Best believe I'm just as excited to see them a second time around as I was when I first saw them. They (along with Yahzarah, Darien Brockington, and Zo!) are shooo good live that I recommend anyone who loves jazz, hip-hop, chill beats and a live band to go see them perform sometime in your lifetime.

My only request this time around is that they'll play a little more from their Connected album. You know at least this song:



*happy two step*

One up

it feels good to run solo without worry
without the picture of your face invading visions in my head
and your name in my stories

my tongue free of storytelling regrets
speaking words without bitter tones
and uncertainty in my emotions

priorities finally in tact
doing nothing but thinking bout myself for once
and only concerned with what my own body's doing

neglecting it all
not trying to fix what happened
feeling indifferent
erasing the memories we made
numbing my feelings
using each new day for healing

recognizing that I can’t dwell anymore
but live the life I intended to before I met you

Cherry blossom pop tarts

Funny story about pop tarts. Y'all are gonna think I'm on one.

A couple months ago my best friend and I were visiting one of the boutiques downtown. She was getting her bike fixed while I was just there for the ride. So while she was looking at parts to buy, I did my thing and quietly seeped through the magazines near the couch in front of me. I did my usual scrummage. I went through a couple hipster magazines, a couple of hypebeast magazines, some local, some global and some strictly underground. I was looking through them ALL trying to suck in all the trendy-independent-stylish zines produced by Tastemakers to somehow load up on inspiration for my future project(s). I went through four or so magazines soaking in all I could to fuel my juices.

As I was looking through my fourth magazine I came across this picture that I thought was kinda nice. For some reason I thought it looked neat. The white background, the simple texture of the photo, the broken object in the middle, the clean look, the lighting - everything. At first glance, I thought the artwork looked pretty cool, especially since I was caught off guard by the picture of a cherry blossom tree in the middle. Centered amidst the plain background of the photo was this cherry blossom tree with roots so defined (sidenote: idk if y'all know i love trees, but winter trees w/out leaves & bare stems are my favorite), I wanted to rip the piece out of the magazine and take it home with me. I was just diggin' how the image was atypical. The cherry blossom tree looked like it had been painted on tile then stepped on or ran over. The piece looked broken. It looked like the artist who created it painted a cherry blossom tree on cement and smashed it into pieces leaving the aesthetics to look brittle and fragile.

And I was drawn to that. My eyes were eating it up. There was just something about the way the artist painted this whole piece that attracted me. The way he created it then destroyed it. The way a whole piece transformed into several little pieces. The way the little pieces took on a different role against the whole. The way the cherry blossom tree channeled imperfection. All of it amazed me for me some reason. So to share in my enthusiasm, I showed it to my best friend and I told her "Doesn't this cherry blossom tree look cool?!" Then she gave me this weird look and starts laughing. In my head, I'm like "Wtf?" as she proceeds to laugh and says,"Uh... Aileen, that's not a tree. That's a cracked strawberry pop tart. hahaha"

Instantly my vision... shattered. *cue broken glass sounds*

I fckn grab the magazine, tilt my head to the side and squint my left eye when it hit me... IT WAS A FCKN POP TART. How the fck did I misconstrue the picture to look like a cherry blossom tree? I swear I saw naked roots. I saw branches. I saw flowers. I swear even at one point I believed the tree looked similar to the cherry blossom trees Sam Flores would paint. But a fckn pop tart? Obviously my eyes interpreted the photo differently. The way I saw every crack in the pop tart, I envisioned to be roots from a naked tree. And the cherry blossoms? I thought the pink sprinkles on top were pink flowers.

Can you see it? Haha, clearly I was moded when I looked at the photo. Obviously, this is a sign I need thicker glasses. And yes, maybe this is evident that my imagination works overtime? But my best friend describes me best when she says, "damn, you have a crazy vision."

To this day I truly can't stare at a a cracked pop tart the same way anymore. And I'm okay with that.

#nowplaying: Kings of Convenience - "Love is no big truth"

Fresh meat: 2005

I was looking through my photobucket albums and this is what I found:



It's a picture of Kim and I in our old dorm room, Hayes-Healy #603. This was our first week in college. Look how precious we were. mwahahaha.

sidenote: I have no idea what we're doing in the picture. Exercising maybe? Stretching? Dancing?

For us.

Squash it and make way for plus signs. We’ll live easier that way. #jussaying

Note to Self #10:

"If you ignore what's in your heart, it's pointless to use your mind."