Kick Push

The main thing I love about summers in San Jose are summer nights in San Jose. The weather couldn't be anymore perfect.

Hi you.

It’s been awhile since we’ve talked. It’s been days, weeks, almost months since we’ve had a decent conversation. Let alone even seen each other. All forms of communication we once used to keep in touch is (virtually) non-existent anymore. Among all the mediums that could potentially connect us both, we instead choose to ignore. Instead of picking up the phone, dialing, sending a text or an email, we refrain. We remain silent.

Cause it’s at this moment we choose to believe each other doesn’t exist.

In hindsight, we’ve erased each other. We’ve given up. We’ve become tired, tired of trying to make us work. We’ve both become so complacent and indifferent towards one another, we’ve forced ourselves to believe the connection we once had never existed; thus creating a wall between us. This wall meant to protect ourselves from our past. From our history. From our friendship. This same space we’ve built in our minds to help us heal. To help us forget. To help us believe we’ve become irrelevant in each others lives. But most of all to help us move forward without each other.

This is what time did for us. Time allowed us to separate. And in turn we’ve responded by making this conscious effort to keep safe distance between one another. As if this the only way we could fix what we’ve broken.

So here we disconnect.

Cause at this moment we’d like to believe our past speaks volumes. And in order for us to enable a future, we must distance ourselves from our present. Until need be.

Until ready.

Here I go again

I've been promising myself every night that I would try to be in bed by 2am at the latest. Well I've kept that promise lately, but I should probably rephrase it to make it more beneficial for myself cause I HAVE been in bed by 2am. But still I'm not asleep till close to 4am, which defeats the whole purpose of me establishing a curfew.

My human clock is so fcked up.

Ever since I moved back to San Jose, I haven't had a decent night's rest. Okay, I lie. I have. I've had more than a decent night's rest. Sometimes it's too good actually since I've been guilty of a few 12hour snoozes. I suffer from being a lazyass, I know.

But this is no good!

It's as if me moving here has killed all my energy. My mind just doesn't wanna stay awake here. Either that or my bed here is just so comfortable I sleep through everything. That's the thing though. I'm tired of sleeping through my alarms, sleeping in till noon and oversleeping my days short. It's counter productive and not cool. It's killing my figure too (fyi: I've been eating junk food past 12am - tsk tsk).

Must. Fix. Sleeping pattern.

#nowplaying: Telekinesis - Coast of Carolina

Music like this makes me miss going to local Indie shows. It makes me miss this whole scene. But more so it makes me miss the 17-year old me who was carefree.

//Sidenote: More on my take on this artist soon! http://www.telekinesismusic.com/

Antsy

I don't wanna just "get by" anymore. I wanna fckn "make it."

Drafting habit.

Lately whenever I've been inspired to write something interrupts my thought process. Let it be a phone call, a text, my laptop shutting down or the traffic outside my window, some force of nature always finds a way to disrupt my focus. The moment I start to really delve into my piece, my attention is shot. And the original feeling I had when I first started writing is gone. The initial drive, the fire, the overall purpose and inspiration I had when I first began to write the piece almost becomes too unfamiliar to start again.

As a result I'm left with another draft instead of a published piece. The story of my life (as of late).

It just turned 3AM and for the past two hours I've been inspired to write three different pieces. All of which I've started, but have yet to finish. If I stand corrected, I now have about 14 drafts and counting (both on here & for 12ftDwende)... that I still hope to publish. *cringes*

One Word: "Matching"

synchronized and parallel
here we stand almost identical
as our bodies pose vertically
matching in weather
whether externally or internally
it’s at this moment
our beings pair peacefully

Oakland, Ca.

You are beautiful. No matter what they say.

Note to self #18:

Leave the city filled with quitters. Arrive at a location filled with dreamers.

Mind association, music inclination

It’s a habit our mind makes.

That first moment we hear a song we haven’t heard before, our ear drums immediately capture the unfamiliar sounds into a frequency channeling our mind’s preference, triggering our tastes and honing our mind’s groove. It’s that very moment when our minds determine if we truly like a song or not upon the initial beat or rhythm. While our ears vibe off the sounds and our minds make that crucial decision, it’s our hearts that make a quick association with the rhythm of the song to the beat of our mind’s state.