Work space

The outcome and overall quality of my writing relies heavily on the environment that I'm in.

Open space = open mind.
Clutter = writer's block.

Just how it is.

Recipe for hungry minds:

Make (create), meditate (marinate), and enjoy (indulge).

Food for your soul, soul for thought:
Feed(ing) knowledge. Fuel(ing) growth.

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*Noted: 6/17/10
Just something random Mel & I thought up while we were talking on the phone.

"Visual Volumes" by. Jason Angeles

This past Wednesday (Sept. 1) my homie, Jason Angeles published his first photography project titled: Visual Volumes, a 70-page composition of his latest work as a freshly acclaimed photographer (and graphic designer). This project features portraits of different individuals stemming from all over the Bay Area network. From SJ to SF, each photo encapsulates a different scene aesthetic complimenting Jason's vision.

To sum it up: Every inch of this book truly illustrates the capacity of his imagination.



Below is the piece I wrote for this project alone. It revolves around the title I created for him. You can find this featured in the intro of his book.

Visual Volumes (August 18, 2010):

"In creation to the volumes of our vision, we seek a universe where our creativity comfortably illuminates the art our mind cultivates. Whether the art form we see is just a mindfield of our own imagination or a mere projection of our ambiguity, our perception is captivated by the endless possibilities of our chosen lenses." (c) Aileen Pagdanganan

(click the photo above for more pictures)

Again special thanks to Jason for allowing my words and I to be apart of this project. You're on your way to doing amazing things, bruh. I'm sure this is just one of many future projects to come. DFF 2.0 perhaps?!

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Take a peek at all the photos here.
Purchase the book here.

Playback: April 21, 2010

Where I was 4 months ago...



I’d like to think I’m getting used to living back in here.

I mean I’m not crying anymore wishing I were somewhere else and each day I’m learning how to deal with my inevitable situation. Plus it’s almost been a month and amidst the month I’ve been here, I think I’ve become a little stronger? I classify dry cheeks as a good indication that I’m getting by.

But still there are some moments where I’ll slip, I’ll get weak and long for San Francisco again. I’ll wake up one morning and forget I’m in SJ. My mind will go on this mad trip wanting to believe I’m just dreaming.

Though eventually reality quickly hits as I glance out my window for a second. There I see nothing but bushes, flowers, and an empty sidewalk corroding my vision. Instead of feeling peaceful among this image, I’m instead thrown back into withdrawal – me wanting to be back in the city.

I’ve had mornings like this. But this morning was slightly different.

I woke up feeling like I shouldn’t be here. I woke up with the intention of leaving SJ, whether momentarily or permanently, my heart felt like leaving. And for no other reason than to just be in the presence of the city, my body wanted to relocate itself for that moment. I had this sudden urge to hear the city traffic, to feel the wind in my face, to feel the rush on the streets. My state of withdrawal was deep. All my senses were reflective of a bad case of nostalgia. My nose could smell the streets, my eyes could see the MUNI, and my body could feel the fog.

Physically I was in SJ, mentally I was in the city. I couldn’t connect the two as if at this moment I didn’t want to. As if my heart made a decision to stay this way and will continue to feel this way until I’m back.

It’s a bittersweet feeling, really. But more so a vicious cycle I’m stuck in.
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04-21-10

RE: Strangers (II)

I'm hungry for some real human connection.

For speech with real substance, where a conversation doesn't always have to lead with what happened last night or what drama started this morning. I'm feenin' for some straight verbal exchange provoking thoughts we've never come across and thoughts we never thought of without this encounter. I want to talk news. I want to talk literature. I want to talk music. I want to talk about life. I want hear to hear your story. I want to hear you. Educate me on your views. Allow me to see the other side. Enrich my being. But do so in away without the necessity of mentioning bullshit actions or our faulty past to engage me.

I want a real connection between you and I...

where our exchange can trigger a trend of words and lines of emotions fueling a dialogue that'll challenge me, but leave me inspired and motivated. Where we speak with honest tones and create a dialogue beyond fear, worry and hesitation. Where it's simply only our minds doing the talking.

Begin

Fate can only get you to where you're bound to be. Once you're there it's up to you to make it all happen.

Strangers

"It’s not so much that you miss past relationships, you just miss the person you thought they were."

There comes a time when a friendship between two people change. When the exciting stage is over, spontaneity is lost, and when things turn into routine. When the time spent between two people alters into a mere convenience only held up by past memories and connections leaving absent the existence of trust in one another.

It's that scary moment when the person sitting across from you isn't the same person you saw before. The individual that once challenged you, inspired you, motivated you, changed you, and brought out the best in you is now the individual who is keeping you from growing. It's that moment when you realize that the person sitting across from you isn't the person who makes you feel good anymore. It comes to a point when you realize that this friendship lost its substance.

Every moment spent with one another is only convenient. Too comfortable to the point where nothing substantial exists between you two. When conversation loses its purpose and instead replaces communication with superficial words exchanged only for the sole purpose of breaking unspoken tension. When words are forced, thoughts are constrained and trust is doubted. When hanging out is just another excuse to be around each other physically. Together you both stare at the TV, type on your laptops, and go out to coffee shops. But collectively, there's no mutual connection there anymore. It's merely two individuals interacting physically, but mentally & intellectually the two have become strangers. Just strangers using every distraction around them to avoid the obvious change in connection.

The only genuine thing holding you two together is the comfort you both have in using the friendship's history to save the friendship present. It's that mutual belief that for this moment settling for each others presence is enough.