Slim pickins, Gemini.

What I wanted is what I got. And now that I have it, I don't know what to do with it.

Random thought...

...But why the fck didn't we have a bonfire this year?!

These were epic.

(Un)productive

I feel like the whole day all I've been trying to do is find a song to help me get going.

See I have this tendency to rely on music to get me moving. Literally. When I wake up, the first thing I do is head straight to my iTunes to put something on and I leave it on till I'm done getting ready. Then when I head out the door, the mixtape continues as I grab my iPod and start listening to each track till I get to my destination. Now this internal playlist of mine continues to throughout the day never really allowing my ears to stop playing my own music until I hit places where I don't need it. For instance, I figure the only time I'm really not listening to music are in situations where I'm doing something with either music already playing or when I'm interacting with other folks and all I wanna do is listen to them. But other than those moments I somehow always have a soundtrack playing throughout my day, which is something I've become accustomed to. It's my habit where I imagine every action I make on a daily is parallel to a beat. As if the soundwaves from my headphones evoke my every movement so effortlessly.

So when I can't find a song to help me get through a day... that's when you know I haven't done shit. (It's like I'm a fkn robot! haha) Today I'm having one of those moments where I can't choose a song or even a beat my ears are satisfied with. Nothing I've heard today has provoked any kind of movement. It's been a stale Monday and the only thing I've heard are show tunes from everything on my tube. As a result - I've wasted today as a couch potato.

I guess I need new music.

Note to Self #4: Life be beauts

Life IS beautiful. Just gotta be mindful to keep balance. Keep the good folks, good vibes and good music in your presence and it’ll stay beautiful.

(via fckminetoo)

Lazy no more, DFF is due for a facelift!

I realize I haven't written anything here in a fat minute. Everything I've posted within the past few months have been past poetry, music, and pictures - anything and everything to depict my life in any way other than an actual update in written form. While I love doing all of that I don't think it's fulfilling enough. I mean at least for a writer it isn't.

So today I promise myself I'll use this blog more wisely, more efficiently and actually input some substance on here. Maybe I'll start talking about my future projects, collaborations, ideas? Who knows? But I know that somehow I gotta transform DFF into a "portfolio" or some kind of reference cause I'm sure with what I wanna do in the future, if I give DFF a facelift now it'll help me in the long run.

Riiiight?

Monday & Tuesday

My yesterday...

consisted of a 6-7hr skype hang out sesh with my Gem counterpart. While we probably could've been doing something with the outside world, we instead chose to reminisce about past crushes, past haircuts, past drunken nights, past relationships via photo albums on FB. With every photo we sent each other, we spilled a bucket of nostalgia (and sometimes metaphoric yack) all over our laptops. From "regrets" to bearded women to dudes we probably shouldn't have (...) we were reminiscing about the times that made us who we are today and laughing about it.On top of that we ate dinner together (we're nerds, I know. And I'm sure if you're following either one of us on Twitter, you saw it all happen in real time) and caught up on the present.

So you see? This is what happens when one of your good friends is thrown back to Los Angeles and is nowhere near you - you end up working with what you got to make the distance feel non-existent. And I know even though y'all are probably are thinking we just "wasted" our day leaving our laptops on - we really didn't. I wouldn't trade in yesterday for a night out at all cause for once life actually felt like it never changed - it actually felt easy again.

But today is a different story...

Today's gonna look the opposite cause the theme for Tuesday is... PRODUCTIVITY!

I'd like to introduce you to...

My new roommate, Mikka :)


(Doesn't she look like she's smiling?!)

When my bro came home from work on Wednesday, he spontaneously brought home this 3-year old "corgimo" (a mix breed of corgi & eskimo). Cute eh? She's such an attention whore and such a huge diva though, haha. All the qualities I've never witnessed in my past pets. Most of them were pretty chill and independent. But this one? She is HELLA hyper. When I mean "hyper" I mean bouncing-off-the-walls-barking-like-crazy-chasing-her-own-tail-type-of-hyper. She barely sits still.

And if this dog knows you're not looking at her she'll do something so that you'll notice her. Last night I found her chewing on the couch just cause I was too busy reading "Eat Pray Love." She began growling once I dropped her tennis ball and picked up my book. I assume if it deters away from playing with her, she goes on a rage. So you can probably see how irritated I was when I first met her. I cherish my solitude, which is exactly what this dog hates. She hates being alone. It's only been two days and I've realized quickly that this dog can't eat, drink or sleep without someone next to her. When I'm in the bathroom she cries as if I'm never gonna come out. All this aforementioned behavior makes me believe that it probably stems from her previous owner who may have neglected her from time to time? I really don't know. Whatever the case is though Mikka's clingy.

However, I kinda don't mind that she is. Her clinginess has been keeping me balanced... to an extent. She never leaves my side and she always keeps me entertained. In addition, she's like my alarm clock, haha. Mikka makes sure I'm always awake at 8am every morning and makes it a habit that I jog with her twice a day. So if anything this dog is not only a pain in the ass, but she's serving to be a good influence on my health, haha. See? Balance.


I'm so attached already!

Cherry blossom pop tarts

Funny story about pop tarts. Y'all are gonna think I'm on one.

A couple months ago my best friend and I were visiting one of the boutiques downtown. She was getting her bike fixed while I was just there for the ride. So while she was looking at parts to buy, I did my thing and quietly seeped through the magazines near the couch in front of me. I did my usual scrummage. I went through a couple hipster magazines, a couple of hypebeast magazines, some local, some global and some strictly underground. I was looking through them ALL trying to suck in all the trendy-independent-stylish zines produced by Tastemakers to somehow load up on inspiration for my future project(s). I went through four or so magazines soaking in all I could to fuel my juices.

As I was looking through my fourth magazine I came across this picture that I thought was kinda nice. For some reason I thought it looked neat. The white background, the simple texture of the photo, the broken object in the middle, the clean look, the lighting - everything. At first glance, I thought the artwork looked pretty cool, especially since I was caught off guard by the picture of a cherry blossom tree in the middle. Centered amidst the plain background of the photo was this cherry blossom tree with roots so defined (sidenote: idk if y'all know i love trees, but winter trees w/out leaves & bare stems are my favorite), I wanted to rip the piece out of the magazine and take it home with me. I was just diggin' how the image was atypical. The cherry blossom tree looked like it had been painted on tile then stepped on or ran over. The piece looked broken. It looked like the artist who created it painted a cherry blossom tree on cement and smashed it into pieces leaving the aesthetics to look brittle and fragile.

And I was drawn to that. My eyes were eating it up. There was just something about the way the artist painted this whole piece that attracted me. The way he created it then destroyed it. The way a whole piece transformed into several little pieces. The way the little pieces took on a different role against the whole. The way the cherry blossom tree channeled imperfection. All of it amazed me for me some reason. So to share in my enthusiasm, I showed it to my best friend and I told her "Doesn't this cherry blossom tree look cool?!" Then she gave me this weird look and starts laughing. In my head, I'm like "Wtf?" as she proceeds to laugh and says,"Uh... Aileen, that's not a tree. That's a cracked strawberry pop tart. hahaha"

Instantly my vision... shattered. *cue broken glass sounds*

I fckn grab the magazine, tilt my head to the side and squint my left eye when it hit me... IT WAS A FCKN POP TART. How the fck did I misconstrue the picture to look like a cherry blossom tree? I swear I saw naked roots. I saw branches. I saw flowers. I swear even at one point I believed the tree looked similar to the cherry blossom trees Sam Flores would paint. But a fckn pop tart? Obviously my eyes interpreted the photo differently. The way I saw every crack in the pop tart, I envisioned to be roots from a naked tree. And the cherry blossoms? I thought the pink sprinkles on top were pink flowers.

Can you see it? Haha, clearly I was moded when I looked at the photo. Obviously, this is a sign I need thicker glasses. And yes, maybe this is evident that my imagination works overtime? But my best friend describes me best when she says, "damn, you have a crazy vision."

To this day I truly can't stare at a a cracked pop tart the same way anymore. And I'm okay with that.

Kick Push

The main thing I love about summers in San Jose are summer nights in San Jose. The weather couldn't be anymore perfect.